What do Americans say?
Source: Based on a survey of 350,000 Americans (x)
cool but why is the last one so ominous
The prompt for the last one is “How many syllables are in caramel?” Ur welcome
i like it better without the explanation
the fact that emulators are legal so long as they don’t use any of the original source code is so funny to me
like i dont know anything about programming but the idea of someone sitting down and creating a program that just so happens to run nintendo games that is completely different from what nintendo actually uses is really funny
like, nintendo wrote 2+2=4 with “4″ being “Zelda,” and then the emulator programmer wrote 15-11=4 and it still works. you still get 4. you still get zelda.
[audio transcript]
Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.
Man: Give him my love.
Woman: Will do.
[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]
Woman: SQUAWK
Bird: SQUAWK
THE END
Good to know shitposting has been around since the inception of cinema
Time to kinkshame the recipe websites.
Me: *pours cream into my coffee*
Coffee: Harder daddy.
Me: Cool, now I have to dump all this coffee out.
Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes
Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”
Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*
Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”
Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*
Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”
Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*
Customer: “Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”
me: “I love and forgive him.”
Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”
Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*
I once took my kids to a local farm and we found a lil goat with its horns stuck in a fence, just sitting there kinda mournfully on the grass. We tried to help it get free but it was stuck tight. We petted it for a while and fed it some grass (as it had lawnmowered a circle around itself as far as it could reach), and then went back to the ticket office to tell them it needed help, but before I’d said more than: “There’s a goat-” the guy cut me off with a weary wave and said, “Yeah, we know. Stuck in the fence. That’s Brenda. She can get herself out whenever she wants. She just likes the attention.”
Trolled by a fucking goat.
i’m fucking dying
“yeah that’s brenda”
I need a goat.
A Veterinarian’s Promise
Euthanasia.
Every few days I get asked the same question, “Am I making the right decision?”
The asker is always distraught, on the verge of saying goodbye to their beloved pet.
I usually just answer ‘yes’ or something similar. Sometimes i quote the statistics of survival for such a condition, because numbers are solid and devoid of emotion when your world is crumbling, numbers you can hold onto.
But what I want to answer is this.
“I wouldn’t let you make the wrong decision.”
As a veterinarian i routinely perform euthanasia to give pets a peaceful, compassionate death. It may be a pet I’ve known and treated for years, or it may be a pet I’ve never seen before who “Didn’t need to go to the vet because he’s healthy, but he’s on his way out now.” (Here’s a tip- most of the time those pets did need a vet, and that’s why they’re in the situation they’re in now.) But the past doesn’t matter. The fact is, the animal is lying before me now, on the brink of making a decision, and you have a choice to make.
A few days ago a lady brought her cat into see me. The cat was elderly, and had disappeared for a few days before coming home. The lady had thought her cat had crawled off to die, and was so relieved that she’d come home.
Her relief rapidly changed to concern when she saw my face drop. This happy, purring little cat was very thin, and I could feel a tumor the size of my fist in her abdomen. A tumor about as big as her head.
It was more than likely intestinal lymphoma. Now surgery was an option to remove the segment of intestine, but lymphomas often spread rapidly and any surgery should be followed up by chemo. Statistically, about a 30% chance of the cat being alive and well in three years time, after both surgery and chemo. But in an old cat who’s lost a lot of weight, well, I was dubious that she’d be one of the 30%, and so was the owner. Palliation is also an option, but effective for about 8 weeks at most.
Things like this are of course extremely personal decisions. She asked me if she was making the right choice.
I wont let you make the wrong decision.
After than consult I had a phone call from a lady i had seen earlier in the day. Her old dog had been coughing a lot, and I had diagnosed it with moderate to severe heart failure.
She called because she was concerned that she was doing the wrong thing by her dog in keeping her alive.
I told her; your dog is happy. She eats. She walks. She sleeps. She has no difficulty going to the toilet with dignity. She recognizes you and her tail didn’t stop wagging the entire time she was here. I can’t give her a new heart. I can try to stop her heart getting worse, but there will come a day when the medication is not enough and she will no longer be wagging her tail. On that day that she is no longer a happy dog, rest assured I will tell you.
But that day is not today. While she’s happy, she’s happy. When she’s not…
I wont let you make the wrong decision.
fact: day old guinea pigs are 90% head.
Fact: my job is sometimes the best job ever.
!!!! That’s why you can see from my previous post that baby guinea pigs are HUGE when they are born! Just LOOK AT THEM!
This my friends- is a cat toenail.
This was found deeply embedded in the pad of a 15yo domestic longhair. The O said they could never groom her or handle her paws and it had been three years since her last vet visit.
This is so bad, and so very sad. We try day in and day out to stress the importance of yearly pet visits. Even if the owner had not been able to examine the cat themselves, a veterinarian surely would have found this during the comprehensive examination and it probably never would have gotten this bad.
Even cats need annual examinations!